The Garmin Saga Continues
As promised, what follows is the remainder of my Garmin saga, for now… (Yes, I do mean that in a threatening manner. I always enjoy threatening inanimate objects. Also drivers in other cars when my windows are up so they can’t hear me.)
Just to reiterate, I am not in any way a representative of Garmin. I’m just angling for some swag 😉
Kidding, kidding.
I just really like making fun of inanimate objects. It’s like threatening them. They don’t talk back, and then I feel powerful. (Back off, coffee table! I’ll mess you up!!!)
In case you don’t remember, here’s what Garmie the First looked like:
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| In one of his rare moments of glory, showing off my marathon PR. |
Yeah, we had our issues, but we worked through them. We moved to Europe and back together. We discovered that 9:00-minute miles weren’t just a theoretical possibility. He beeped, I cursed, but we more or less got along.
Then, one day, Garmin abandoned me. I think it was the Schlotzsky’s Bun Run 5K. I’m not sure if he was ashamed of my missed PR or if I just referred to his coloring as “a sort of vomit-like green” one too many times, but he decided — I think — to live out the rest of his days on the lawn of the Long Center in downtown Austin. Who knows, maybe he just didn’t want his name associated with a race called “the Bun Run”.
In any event, I mourned his departure fully, going through all 5 of the stages of grief:
- Denial: No need to buy a new watch. Garmie was just lost in the deep recesses of my car, and all I had to do was devote a good Saturday afternoon to digging him up. I downloaded the MapMyRun iPhone app and spent a couple months waiting for him to forgive me and come back.
- Anger: While I do find MapMyRun to be a very fine app (no, they’re not paying me either), the advent of summer in Austin meant spandex and tank tops and no place for an iPhone. Why is the damn phone so BIG anyway?? And why does using GPS drain the battery so fast??? Of course I wouldn’t have to worry about draining my phone — or dropping it on it’s beautiful glass screen (HA! You know Apple isn’t paying me) — if my GD watch hadn’t run off in the first place! GAH! Fury!!!
- Bargaining: Okay, so it’s been 3 months and I still haven’t found my watch, but that doesn’t mean it’s really really gone. Of course the phone thing isn’t working for me either, so I’ll just order this 3-year subscription to Running Times that comes with a free watch. Okay, it’s not a GPS watch, but all I really need is to time my track intervals, right? Right? (Note: “Free” electronics always come with instructions in Japanese only. Always. Unless they’re in Chinese.)
- Depression: I can’t program this “free” watch because I can’t read Japanese. And Running Times says “real” runners don’t even need watches anyway. They just “feel” their pace using some metronome in their head. Or they can read Japanese. I’m a loser. I don’t have a metronome in my head. I guess it’s time to give up running entirely. Only a loser would lose an expensive GPS watch. I’m going to spend the rest of my life on the couch eating ice cream. Then I’ll get fat, Handsome J will leave me, the city will cut off my power, and I’ll end up living in a cardboard box on the side of the road…
- Acceptance: I need a new watch.
And what did I do? After all my trials and tribulations with Garmie the First? Did I move on to an Ironman-branded Timex, with its “I am a super-athelete” connotation? Support local business with an über-hip Soleus?
No.
Like the girl who just can’t give up on her lost relationship, I hooked up with another Garmin. Old Garmie’s hotter younger brother, to be precise. (Am I taking this metaphor too far? Is it getting weird?)
I bought the Forerunner 210 — this time in a sleek black. (Which is still not as cool as the white and pink one, Garmin peeps! Oh wait, there still aren’t any Garmin peeps reading this? Right…)
And guess what…I love him. Love. He’s smaller, lighter, and doesn’t have that annoying bezel that loses all sensitivity as soon as you start to sweat. And I swear he can even acquire a satellite twice as fast as old Garmie. (Ah, the advantages of youth.)
So folks, here he is. In all his button-based-configuration glory…
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| Okay, so he is currently drained of power AND hanging off the compost bucket, but I’ve been injured. I had to take my anger out on something (inanimate)… |
Running Fiesta 
I'm a Garmie groupie. Feel naked without my Garmie. So can so relate to your departure emotions.
Having been witness to Garmie the I's demise and being around for the decision to re-confirm with Garmie II, I am glad to see the love being reaffirmed. Can't wait to get back out there with them and you!
That Depression section was really rough! So sad! I'm glad you made it through to Acceptance.
What can I say? There's just a minor hint of the obsessive in people who are into endurance sports. Ahem…Kona lady…
Bagel run tomorrow! Woo woo! (As a theoretical "grown-up", I refuse to type "woot". Except for just there.)
Oh good. I really tried to bring my characters to life. Like me. I'm alive. And I wanted to convey that. 😉